Be Present (Remain Unattached to Outcome)


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WHAT  Be Present
WHY     When a coach becomes attached to an outcome without realizing it, she is unable to stay present to the story that the leader is sharing, and may                    miss or even inadvertently redirect the leader’s true end in mind.
HOW     Remain Unattached to Outcome


Quiet the Ego

  •       Check in with your feelings and thoughts before checking out with a response to a specific outcome that you think is the only one that will work.

  •       Silently notice and name your feelings. Smile in recognition of the feeling.

  •       Remind yourself to Be Curious.

  •       See her as an ally.

  •       Breathe. Shift in your chair. Place both feet on the floor.

 

Honor Story

  •       Listen for and notice subtle shifts in tone, language, silences, posture, and occasionally tears.

  •       Be fully present and compassionate, otherwise we will miss these cues.

 

Imbue Others and Be Curious

  •      Commit to guiding her to her own solution rather than driving toward your prescribed outcome.

  •       Ask nonjudgmental questions to collect data and build trust.

  •       Allow the leader to think and talk her way to resolution and aha moments.


Examples of shifting to imbue her with her own intelligence:

  •      “Here are some of your strengths we have identified over time. Which ones can you call on for this situation?”

  •       “If you did know, what would you do?”

  •       “What’s clearer to you now?”

  •       “What have you heard from parents about this situation?”

  •       “Do you have exit interview data that shed light on this problem?”

 

Potential Traps

  •       Certainty that your answer is the only right one

  •       Believing that progress only comes from telling rather than asking

  •       Being impatient

  •       Focusing only on results

  •       Viewing people as obstacles not allies