Be Bold (Hold Their Hand While You Hold Their Feet to the Fire)

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WHAT  Be Bold
WHY     To hold a mirror to leaders, driven by our desire and moral and ethical obligation, to see them  become their highest self.
HOW     Hold Their Hand While You Hold Their Feet to the Fire


Be Compassionate

Before responding, make sure it’s from a place of kindness, not from anger or judgment, or from your own triggers. Breathe. Shift in your chair. Place both feet on the floor. 

  • “I need a moment to process or absorb where we are.”

  •   “I’m feeling triggered and need to take a moment.”

  •   “I can imagine how this [what the leader just said] might have landed on the teacher.”

Be Unattached to a Specific Outcome

  • “I’ve heard you complain about [_______] during our last three coaching sessions. What do you want to do about it?”


Interrupt Patterns

  •    “Practice saying that long explanation in two sentences.”

  •    “When you say __________, I hear a fixed mindset.”

  •     “A strength of yours is asking for feedback. What keeps you from using that approach with your colleague?”

  •      “You committed to doing __________. You didn’t do it. What happened?”

  •      “I don’t hear you owning the development of your leaders. What do you need to do to make that change?”

Engage with the 7EQs

  •     “The new policy you instituted has the potential to undermine your commitment to creating a sense of belonging.”

  •      “When you didn’t respond to the teacher’s comment, can you see that you missed an opportunity to interrupt racism/sexism/etc.”


Potential Traps

  •       Being attached to the outcome

  •       Probing through curiosity rather than naming what you hear and see

  •       Allowing your ego, anger, or impatience to drive your conversation and responses

  •       Needing to be right or to even a score

  •       Using the situation to gain power

  •        Being conflict averse